The Invictus Illusion

Out of the night that covers me,   

  Black as the Pit from pole to pole,   

I thank whatever gods may be   

  For my unconquerable soul.   

In the fell clutch of circumstance 

  I have not winced nor cried aloud.   

Under the bludgeonings of chance   

  My head is bloody, but unbowed.   

Beyond this place of wrath and tears   

  Looms but the Horror of the shade, 

And yet the menace of the years   

  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.   

It matters not how strait the gate,   

  How charged with punishments the scroll,   

I am the master of my fate:

  I am the captain of my soul. 

The poem is Invictus, by William Earnst Henry.

It  is also, to some extent an illusion.

Before reading further, I suggest to review my prior post on Truth etc... This post is meant to continue that thought exercise. I have a few more that go with it as well. I have been struggling to put them into words, and I have been struggling to work out the correct order. I think it matters....

We generally like to think we are in control of our choices, that we (generally) make them based on sound reasoning, careful thought, and through the lens of our moral principles.

There are a number of holes in that theory however.

The first is genetics. We come into being as a result of a mix of combined genetic material from our mother and father. That genetic material determines, or at least shapes many of our physical characteristics. Including how the operation of various hormone producing factories - which influence our mood, among other things.

It isn't quite that simple though. More recent research indicates sections of this genetic material can be effectively turned on or off.  Some of  our DNA is wrapped around histones, which effectively turns off those genes. These histones can be activated or deactivated chemically. There are also chemical groups which can be inserted into the DNA at specific points, which will turn sections of Genes on or off.

This suggests that environment - The foods we eat, the air we breathe, the chemicals we come in contact with -  can, to some degree alter our genes. There have been some studies which indicate that these alterations can be passed on  to our offspring. There are also several studies including this one, showing a potential link between lead exposure in violence.

But it isn't just environment, it is also experiences. There is at least one study which observed an increased mortality rate in the male offspring of Civil War POW's, born after their POW experience. In another study, rats were exposed to cherry blossom scent at the same time a mild electric shock was administered. This led to an automatic fear response to the scent. Their first and second generation offspring both exhibited the same automatic fear response. Genetic memory appears to be a thing.

So, many of your decisions and reactions in life may very well have been shaped, not just by your experiences, but also by your diet, the compounds and minerals in your drinking water, and the quality of the air you breathe. Further more it may have been shaped by the environment, diet, and experiences of your parents, and your grandparents and... Perhaps the biblical references to "The sins of the fathers." (Exodus 34:7, for instance) were  meant as literal warnings.

But even setting aside these genetic-based influences, you are likely far less in control of you than you think.

In the previous post I mentioned the adage "You are the  product of your five closest friends," Citing the specific anecdote I have witnessed, of people completely reversing their political position (liberal to conservative and vice versa), after a major move change their circle of friends. It is actually a bit more complicated than "The five closest" of course. The circle of influence is larger than that. It really is more about what you are surrounded by, and frequently, consistently exposed to. 

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:"

-Proverbs 23:7 

Which is why companies spend so much money putting advertisements for their products in front you you. everywhere you go. And why normally rational people can become so irrationally attached to absurd ideas.

"If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes accepted as truth"

-Joseph Goebbels 

And you lie to yourself all the time. (More on that later).

Of course some try to argue that deep down inside, their soul remains - at least mostly - in control.

Many instances of significant personality change after severe, traumatic brain injury would suggest otherwise. I have also seen and personally experienced the personality altering effects some medications can have. And of course there is also Dissociative Identity Disorder, and scripturally, the experience of possession. 

Even passage of time and number of decisions you have made in that time affects you according to this article on parole hearings. If your soul is in control, it is arbitrary and cruel...

Some have gone so far as to say you aren't really in control at all. You are just running your piece of the program that was set in motion eons ago.

I'm not quite that fatalistic, I think that I do have at least some ability to influence who I become and what I do. maybe not so much as moving the rudder on the back of a boat, perhaps more like holding a stick in the water on one side...

So the question then is, how much of what we say and do is truly our intentional exercise of self-will, and how much is us just executing the universe's program?

I think we can be more in control, perhaps, when we are more present, and when we are less dishonest (again, more on that later). 

Language, Truth, Perspective, Paradigm...

This post is a prequel to another post (or three) I have rattling around in my brain. Before I can get to that, It is necessary to precisely (as possible) define a few words. Level-set, if you will.

Language really is an amazing thing, is it not? We humans emit a wide range of sounds. We arrange, combine and modulate all those hums, whistles, clicks, hisses, 'oooh's, 'aaah's, etc... And we assign meaning to them.

It isn't natural or  inherent, if you will. Babies don't come into the world able to speak. They have to learn to make the various sounds sound by imitation, trial and error. They have to learn from others the meaning of each particular set of sounds. And it is entirely arbitrary. A "Dog" is a Dog, only because somewhere in the past a group of people agreed to it, and we continue to accept and use that convention. But only certain of us do.

Somewhere in the distant past of the people we designate as "Germans", they agreed on "Hund". For the Croatians it was "Pas".

Oh, and yeah, not only did we agree on combinations of sounds and assign them meaning, we also agreed on combinations of drawings - lines and curves, and assigned them meaning as well. "狗" for instance is Chinese for Dog. Some people say entire words with a single symbol. Others, assign sounds to the symbols so we can combine them to make the words.

But there are two glaring problems:

1. We sometime re-use symbols - entire symbol sets and sound arrangement.

"Done.", "Dun."

Clearly different when written, not so when spoken.

"Wind."

Did I just wind a clock, or is the wind blowing?

2.  We can arbitrarily reassign meaning. At any time.

"You sly dog!"

Clearly I'm not a "Dog". When and how did this alternate meaning come to be?

And that is a word which is assigned to a physical, tangible object. Imagine the difficulty in assigning and retaining precise meaning for words which describe intangibles, such as emotions, feelings, ideas...

It thus becomes necessary to use more words in an attempt to clarify the meaning of the words we just said.

Words are hard!

 That being said, I now intend to attempt to define a few words (using words- it all seems somewhat futile when you think about it...).


Truth - I need this word to have a very precise meaning for my future post(/s). Rather humorously, most dictionary definitions of truth say something to the effect of "that which is true". And then one definition of True is "Truth".

For my purposes I will start my definition with the phrase "Things as they really are."

Now a few thoughts to try and visually add some tangible boundaries to that.

First, imagine you can only see two dimensions.

What would you say this object is?




A circle?

But this is just a two-dimensional projection of a three dimensional object.
It could in fact be a sphere

or a Cone

a cylinder



Or perhaps something even more complex.

But if you only experienced the world in two dimensions, you likely wouldn't even be able to comprehend those shapes, it would likely be utterly beyond your grasp. 

A few more observations to help flesh this out:

--

Imagine for a moment the shape in question was a cylinder, and a friend of yours saw it from one of the sides. He would be completely confused as to why you were calling it a circle when it was obviously a rectangle! You would be equally alarmed by your friends seeming blindness to the obvious.

--
Science does not discover truth. Science creates models, which attempt to approximate truth, based on our observations from within the system.

--
A person can speak truthfully, and yet not speak truth. (In the above example, you called the cylinder a circle. while your friend called it a rectangle. You and your friend both spoke truthfully. You did not intend, nor wish to be dishonest. And yet, what you said was untrue.

--
There is no "My truth" and "Your truth". There is only "The truth." Which due to our limited vision, our limited perspective, may be beyond our ability to grasp.


And that is the second word...

Perspective - Perspective is the position from which you look at something. This is why you saw a circle, while your friend saw a rectangle in the example above. Each of you saw the object from a different perspective. Perspectives are not fixed. They can be changed by our current mood,

Tying that back to truth, let's add a contextual definition to the word...

Observation - This is the fragment of The truth which we see from our particular perspective. We habitually think of this as The truth, it isn't.

Finally, one more word..

Paradigm - Paradigm is a particular world-view. A system of beliefs, ideas, and experiences which define our perspective. If perspective determines what you saw, paradigm determines why.

Our paradigm is created by our genes, by our environment, by the people we interact with, and the things we do. They can change over time, as we expand our knowledge, or increase our experience. They can even change as our friendships change. As an example, I have had friends who were very liberal in their political views, who moved to areas which were predominately conservative. As time passed and they integrated into their new environment, making new friends, I observed their views shift quite dramatically from liberal to conservative. Similarly, I have had friends who were very conservative, who shifted to liberal upon moving to a predominately liberal city. "You are the sum of your five closest friends," as the saying goes.

People can have different paradigms. They can have different perspectives. They can't have different truths.





-- Claim:

For a given system, truth can only be observed from outside of the system. In other words, we can't observe truth.  We can make educated guesses about what is true. But they are only guesses.


-- Religious Corollary I:

Assuming the existence of a Deity, and assuming the above claim is valid. If said deity is omniscient - the source of all truth, then it holds that said deity must exist outside of the system, thus sees the system in its entirety, as it really is.

-- Religious Corollary II:

Communication with Deity does not bestow upon the communicating individual, any claim to truth. Said individual remains within the system, is still bounded by the constraints of their (albeit expanded) paradigm and thus said individual must still interpret the communicated truth via their limited perspective. Furthermore, their attempts to communicate said truth to another individual incur the added difficulty of being filtered through the other individuals paradigm.

Thoughts on Love

Aaahh Love....

What a terrible word.

Love is problematic, because we use it to define so many different things.

I remember in my youth someone  passing around a poem at a church activity with morality as the theme. I only remember the line "You and me and Eros and Agape" A poor attempt to use Greek in an effort to distinguish "Love" from Infatuation. I'm not convinced they actually use the Greek correctly - perhaps that was as deep as they felt they could go on the subject without losing teenagers. Perhaps I break out the fire hose too often.

Tradition has it that the Greek philosophers used quite a number of words to categorize "Love":


Agape - Although the word predates Christ's birth, the term has been largely taken over by the Christian world to mean Christlike love. The original meaning seems to be in line with this, though. Charity is perhaps the most strictly secular word we use today, though are secular use of it fails to capture the heights to which it reaches. Agape is the perfect love, the love that sees the good and the bad and loves regardless. Some would argue Agape is unattainable by mere mortals, something that we should strive for. The kind of love that reaches beyond mortal comprehension.

Philia - This one gets used as a suffix in a number of... uncomfortable words, It has a sort of double meaning, I suppose. More generally it is used to mean "affection" (even then, our use as a suffix seems inaccurate). More specifically it refers to brotherly love (Hence, Philidelphia, The city of brotherly love). This form of "Love" is comradeship. It is the bond shared between members of an atheletic team, a military unit, or similar, close-knit group.

Philautia - Self-esteem is the current name for this one. It is a healthy self-love, the recognition of personal worth. It is distinctly different from narcissism or hubris - self absorption.

Xenia - A close kin to Philia, this is hospitality, or "guest-friendship" it is different from Philia in that Philia is a strong bond built on a relationship of shared experiences and common objectives. This is a weak affection towards strangers, the desire to lend a helping hand. It generally carries an implied reciprocity, the expectation that kindness will be returned for kindness (making it distinctly different from Agape some might argue this is our attempt to achieve agape).

Storge - Called natural love, this is the relationship between parent and child. (Some also place love between brother and sister here, others include it in Philia).

Ludus - Playful love, this one often get's confused with Eros, but it is in fact very different. This is the fun, flirty kinds of relationship. The playful banter, teasing, it is a fun, uncommitted, kind of relationship. The "Falling in love" feeling that often gets called "Love" is more indicative of Ludus.

Pragma - Enduring love. When you talk about a  couple who have been married for fifty+ years in terms of Love. Pragma is what you are talking about. Pragma is a... pragmatic love. One which recognizes the faults in a companion, and accepts them, or at least places them as subordinate to the shared ideals and goals within the relationship. Pragma keeps a couple together through hard times and disagreements.It is often considered the opposite of Ludus, though the two can coexist in a relationship, and in doing so,make the relationship much stronger and more fulfilling.

Mania - Obsession this is the one unhealthy "Love" on the list (okay yes, there were two others mentioned above as unhealthy forms of Philautia, but this is the one that get's it's own section). Mania is usually a symptom of a lack of Philautia, the absence of self-esteem causes one to seek that validation externally. They NEED to have a friend, not just a friend, but someone who adores them. They can't stop thinking about them, can't be without them. It is insecure, codependent and manipulative, it is often harmful, causing one to and up in abusive relationships (either as the abuser or the victim).

Eros- I saved this one for last for a few reasons. Many argue this one doesn't belong on this list, as it is so uniquely different. It is said the Greek philosophers treated Eros with a certain fear. Eros was like lightening, sudden, intense, unpredictable... fickle. It could strike with a flash out of nowhere, when you least expected it, and could vanish just as quickly. While the others deal with a relationship made by choice. Eros is a... natural instinct, driven by physiology. In Nature, there are three, prime directives if you will which drive all animal behavior.
1. Seek Pleasure
2. Avoid Pain
3. Conserve Energy

Our body uses chemistry to help drive our behavior with respect to these directives. Most notably, dopamine. The body is set up to give a hit of dopamine when we do things that support these directives.
Eat when your are hungry, get a shot of dopamine.
Wrap up in a warm blanket when it's too cold, get a shot of dopamine.
Exercise, get a shot of dopamine.
Propagate the species (That means 'have sex', just to be clear), get a big shot of dopamine. 


And this is Eros the drive to procreate. Eros is problematic, it can easily turn into Mania if not tempered. On the other hand, it, like Ludus, can be paired with Pragma to create a much stronger, much more fulfilling bond.






If you consider all of these carefully, you may notice that the Most common use of the word "Love" today is missing.


Romantic Love- Romantic Love didn't show up in literature until sometime in the 1800's it is a new creation. And I would argue it is a deception.

Romantic Love tries to disguise Eros as Pragma. It suggests that the feeling of Eros is the indicator of the existence of Pragma, but without all the work. It's everywhere today, especially in children's literature. Two unassuming people see each other from across the room and... "Zing", fireworks, love at first site. They fight together against some evil being who want to keep them apart, they vanquish their foe and then ... "They live happily ever after".

But there is no strict relationship between Eros and Pragma. The two can exist entirely independent of one another. So this connection portrayed by the idea of Romantic love is a false connection. And the biggest problem with this is that people are unable to distinguish between the two. So, they think they have found their "soulmate", they rush in without ever committing and they "fall out of love" when hard times come.


This is further complicated due to the nature of Eros.

You see, the bodies directive mechanism can be "hacked". One of the classic experiments on this topic is Pavlov's dog. Pavlov repeated a process of ringing a bell, then giving a dog food. In time, the dog salivated when the bell was rang whether food was provided or not.

Another notable experiment was  done with rats. A button was wired up to inject dopamine directly into the pleasure center of a rat's brain. So, now the rat could get the pleasure reward which normally came from eating or mating, but with less work (directive 3: conserve energy). The rat would ignore an available mate, ignore food, and just repeatedly press the button. It would do this until it collapsed from exhaustion. It would do this until it dies.

(Note: An interesting correlative experiment was done in which they blocked the dopamine receptors entirely. Without the pleasure reward, the rat would just lie there. It wouldn't try to mate, it wouldn't go looking for food. It would just lie there and starve to death..)

So, the Eros feeling can actually get mis-wired to any number of things, some of which might even be detrimental to our survival.

Sometimes this occur intentionally- as an example many military organizations would purposefully utilize this to "improve" their soldiers. A new recruit would be required to kill an enemy prisoner. As soon as he had fulfilled this requirement his comrades would give him high-fives (or the appropriate equivalent of the time and region) and take him to the brother for his "reward", thereby linking the pleasure response to the act of killing.

This can also occur unintentionally, under any number of circumstances, often culminating in destructive behaviors, such as drug abuse, pornography addiction, or much less nefarious seeming addictions, like overeating, unhealthy eating (high fat, high sugar foods goes right to directive 3. In fact another rat study found that while rats would go for heroin over most foods or mating, they would pass up heroin for the filing in an Oreo cookie), social media addiction (the quick, often artificial interactions give a dopamine boost, that pesky directive 3 again...), video game addiction.

So we take a highly questionable, easily redirect-able, chemical sensation and link it to the end result of a hard, committed endeavor. (Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth...).

No wonder we have such a hard time with "Love".

Yeah, I know, somehow  "I pragma you" doesn't feel as.... romantic....

Is Covid-19 Really THAT Bad?

Sometimes there is more than one perspective - more than one way to look at something, and sometimes, a different viewpoint leads to a different approach to a problem. Both approaches may ultimately get to the desired result, but through very different philosophies.

Sometimes it is difficult to tell which approach is really better. Either the end result of either are so similar, or the real consequences don't manifest for decades, centuries...

With that in mind, consider the following counterpoint:


The average human body is composed of roughly 37 Trillion Cells. It also contains roughly 40 trillion bacteria. There as much or slightly more bacteria than there is you in your body! Crazy right? And those bacteria are largely beneficial, even necessary to your existence. They help digest your food, and help you absorb the nutrients, as well as bolster your immune system.

Wait, it gets better. You've heard of e.coli? Staphylococcus? Did you know you have e.coli living in your gut right now? And Staphylococcus on your skin?

"Wait!" you might be saying, "Isn't e.coli the dreaded bacteria that gives you diarrhea? And staph., isn't that the terrifying, antibiotic resistant super-bug?"

Yup, but see, it is other peoples' e.coli and staph. that give you trouble. Your own are your friends. Your e.coli helps you absorb iron. Your staphylococci help regulate inflammation. Without it, you could wind up with psoriasis or other inflammatory skin diseases.

So, arbitrarily obliterating all bacteria, or even some of the bacteria that we tend to think of as "Bad bacteria", would be pretty bad for us.

Scientists are less fixed on the precise number of viruses that live on and in your body, but the current estimates are around 300 Trillion. Roughly ten times as many viruses as bacteria! And they are largely beneficial too. Some fight off bad (for you, at least) bacteria. Some viruses destroy cancer cells. In fact, some of the most exciting cancer treatments currently being explored involve using modified or selectively bred viruses which can target your specific form of cancer.

Typically, the reason a particular virus or bacteria makes you sick is due to your immune system not successfully integrating or eliminating the new strain.

Your particular microbiome is unique. It is influenced by your environment, your diet... The types of food you eat have an impact on the health and makeup of your gut microbiome, and consequently, on your health. Every time you come into contact with another person, and exchange of microbes occur. Some your microbiome views as allies, and they are integrated into your system, increasing the diversity of your system. Others are viewed as enemies and are destroyed, these can also be beneficial, as your microbiome "remembers their genetic code", and now can utilize that knowledge to bolster your defenses against future similar, perhaps more dangerous invaders.


So, given this alternate perspective on the nature of microbes in the human condition. Is excessive isolation and eradication really the best choice for humankind's future?

Dear Mom - An apology

My mother managed to annoy a number of people over the years. Specifically, many people complained to me about her habit of intruding on their lives and pointing out their flaws. Not directly mind you (well, there was some of that as well, because all mothers do that a bit, and at least the times I can remember her doing it to  me, it was entirely deserved), but that's not the one that caused people to complain.

No, it was the "barely subtle", "passive-aggressive" way she would send books, or magazine articles, or newspaper clippings with self-help advice. That "back-door" fault-finding. That is what really got people upset. And many complained to me about it. And I nodded sympathetically, because I had received many of those myself.

Just recently however, I realized something. We had it all wrong.

Have you even seen a sunset, or heard a song or watched a movie that just.... inspired you? It touched you, moved you, filled you with excitement, or wonder, or joy, or hope or... all of the above?

You wanted to share it with your friends, your family, your loved ones. You wanted them to be able to experience that same amazing, euphoric feeling you felt.

Those self help articles were her sunsets, her brilliant arias. When she read them she felt inspired to do more, to be more. She felt hope at the prospect of a new idea, a new approach to life that might help her improve herself, that might help her to fix some of the many flaws, face down some of the many demons which beset her.

And so she shared it,  because that's what you do when a sunset or a song is just too beautiful for words; you share it with the people you love.

I understand now, Mom. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I love you too.

Love,

Ed

50th Birthday

My 50th Birthday just happened. A half-century. Kind if a big deal I think.
Especially given my  history with aging.

My Mother used to tell a story about when I was little (3? 5? somewhere in there). I had my life plan in place. I was going to be a farmer. I apparently had a blueprint with milestones, though I don't recall her saying much about the specifics. At any rate, after going through the plan, she suggested I need to make sure I included a mission in my timeline. I asked how old that would be. She said 19-21.

I became quite distressed by this because 20 was "Over the hill!!!"

Later in high-school, and the couple years following that, the plan had changed to joining the Air Force, becoming a fighter pilot, and dying heroically in a dog fight sometime before I turned forty. I had some kind phobia of aging I guess.

So, yeah, fifty! Kind of a big deal.

A couple weeks before, I started thinking about the fact that this was one of those big one's. And decided that I wanted it to be celebrated accordingly. Of course, my first thought was a big party. get lots of friends together.

But. That just didn't quite feel right. maybe in part because I am something of an introvert. or maybe my lack of self-esteem. In part our current accommodations, don't really lend to big gatherings. I hate for people- especially large groups- to have to get off and then back on the highway. And since we are right on the highway, there really isn't much room for parking.

Then it came to me. Fifty acts of kindness! That's how I wanted to spend my birthday! I started writing down and looking up ideas for things to do. There were a number of things I really liked, but that were really not in the budget, particularly while trying to build a house, and especially when home-building costs are outrageously high.

Then I remembered a YouTube video I had watched- a Ted talk by a musician, about asking. She talked about starting her career as a statue  - one of those people who stands super still and has a can for people to put tips in. She talked about how that influenced her music career, how today she makes her music freely available online and relies on the goodwill of her fans (She's a multi-millionaire, by the way).

I am not good at asking for help. A pride thing mostly, I guess. I feel like I have the ability to do things, so I should just do them. Probably that self-esteem thing plays a role here as well.

But I had also just recently watch a video about embracing trials, and doing hard things with enthusiasm, so I decided to step out of my comfort zone. I set up a gofundme campaign, and asked for donations to help. Four kind people Donated a total of $40!

So, the day before my birthday, I withdrew $100 and got ready for the big day.

Okay, I cheated a little bit. I started the night before my birthday, by giving a $20 tip for a $16 meal. The waitress was such a sweet, happy person, it just seemed the right way to kick it off.

I went to the temple early that morning which seemed like a great way to start the day. Then I raced (at the speed limit) to where the cross country team (including my daughter) were running for their workout. and cheered for them (we had planned to follow them, playing eye of the tiger, but that didn't work out, due to a misunderstanding of their route. Still got to cheer for them though!).

I stopped to get my family donuts for breakfast, and decided to buy the order of the couple in front of me. That turned out pretty cool, I don't know how the couple reacted, but it did seem to make the cashier's day. She was just telling me she would be right with me after she rang up the order ahead of me.

"Actually," I said, then leaned over the counter, and in a conspiratorial whisper I said, "I'd like to pay for their order as well."

She looked surprised at first, then lit up in a big smile and said "Thank-you!" She then took my order, gave me the total and took my card for payment. I suspect this might have been a bit puzzling for the couple who was ahead of me; Here I was behind them, and I was getting my order before them. I grabbed my receipt and was out the door before the cashier could give them their donuts.

For the rest of the day, I enlisted the aid of my family (since some of the things we did might have seemed creepy being done by a 50 year old man, but totally fine by four kids in their tweens and teens).

We taped envelopes with quarters to several vending machines. We also picked a couple store items and taped envelopes to them, with enough money to buy the item (with a little change left over).

We put post-its on the mirrors of a few public restrooms with notes that said things like,
"You are Beautiful"
"You are Amazing!"
"You rock!"

We also put post-its on some cars, and a few doors of public buildings (We specifically put a "You Rock!" on the door of the geology building at USU. Couldn't pass that up). And other messages like "Always be like a proton: Positive".

We also purchased a dozen roses, and handed roses out to strangers (my kids did that, to reduce the chances of me getting pepper-sprayed).

And there were a few other little things- holding doors, an award certificate to a little girl for having the cutest face,... It was interesting seeing peoples' reactions; some were puzzled, some preoccupied, some were guarded, some were very appreciative.

It was great fun! I counted a little over 60 acts of kindness performed with the help of my wife and children. My kids loved it as well (My oldest daughter said the roses were her favorite). My wife made the observation that my youngest two, who bicker and quarrel with each other a great deal, did not do so once the entire time we were engaged in this project. It was great to see them having so much fun serving others.

There was also an interesting twist that afternoon. We have a tradition of taking the kids to the American West Heritage Center around this time every year, to go through the corn maze, play the outdoor games and such. We were going to go Saturday, but decided to go that afternoon instead, as the forecast had rain on Saturday. Since it was after 2 pm, and we hadn't stopped for lunch, we decided we'd treat the kids to lunch there.

There were a couple of vendors there, but the BBQ vendor won the vote. We ordered hot dogs or pulled pork sandwiches for everyone and sat down at a table to eat. Then the owner of the trailer walked over, said "Why don't you take this to help feed your family." and handed me a container with a half-rack of ribs! An act of kindness returned!

He came back after a while and just visited with us, which was thoroughly enjoyable. You know, just sharing pleasant conversation with someone can be such an act of kindness.

So that was my 50th birthday. It was without a doubt THE BEST Birthday I have ever had.

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So far....