Health update one more layer peeled back

It has been a while since I have posted. There are a few reason for that, but the main one is health issues again. It is time to post an update though, as I have new information which might be helpful to others with mystery illnesses.

First a recap. I was having abdominal issues which led to a Chron's diagnosis just over 10 years ago. Five years later that diagnosis was removed, (miracle or misdiagnosis?), however I was still having abdominal issues (debilitating spasms).

After some research, I asked my Dr. about an anxiety connection (There is a family history of Depression, and anxiety is a close cousin). She put me on an SSRI (Note, virtually every medication for treating anxiety are SSRI or SNRI - The first S, and the RI standing for Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor. They try to increase the Serotonin in your system by preventing your body from absorbing it. These are generally considered very effective, but digging in to the most recent meta study declaring this, [note the study includes many statistics models, using methods I don't understand - I was never a fan of statistics. Never really felt like it was real math, interestingly, I had a conversation once with a friend who was a head of a Mathematics department at a university, and he, and some of his colleagues had been having a conversation leading them to the same conclusion]. What I did manage to pull out of the numbers is that the efficacy was generally around 52%, vs 48% for Placebo. This means that out of every hundred people suffering from Anxiety. Roughly 48 obtain relief from their symptoms with a sugar pill. Therefore, only four people actually derive benefit from the SSRI. This is considered safe and effective by the FDA and other comparable agencies elsewhere inthe world. This is not a statistic unique to this particular family of drugs, or this class of illness. There is also some studies coming from University of Utah which seem to suggest SSRI's are even less effective for individuals living at higher altitudes for some reason, and that SSRI's in general can cause a dependency, by causing the body to further reduce serotonin manufacture. Anecdotally, most individuals who use SS/NRI's whom I have talked to find they have to change to a different one every few years, which seems to support The UofU findings. Sorry for that lengthy digression, back to the tale...)

The abdominal problems went away within a few weeks of starting the SSRI.

From a mood perspective, I experienced what I later heard termed SSRI induced apathy. I was living in a mental fog, and just didn't care about anything. I went to work and sat and my desk all day, doing nothing. It is kind of a miracle that I am still employed.

At some point, I decided I needed to get a shed built in the back yard. I went to the lumber store, but had no idea what materials I needed. Rather than take the time to do a design and create a materials list, I just bought entire pallets of materials. I wound up with close to 100 sheets of non-returnable OSB siding for instance, when I needed 12 sheets. In 2 hours, I accumulated roughly $20k of consumer debt (technically still trying to recover from that).

So, I stopped the SSRI's, and started speaking with a Therapist.

Unfortunately, my insurance is not very effective in covering non-pharmaceutical health care, and I had to stop the sessions after a few months.

At his point, anxiety began to turn to depression. This was when I took a break from social media - and news media - as I concluded it was significantly contributing to the problem. Removing those slowed but did not reverse my downward course.

Antidepressants are largely SSRI's, so I was reluctant to go down that path again. So I suffered for some time (A year? two? Lost track).

Then, my youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD. He is the non H type, which are frequently missed. As I started researching ADHD, I noticed how well the symptoms fit me. So many of my experiences in school and college were such a fit for an ADHD diagnosis.

I recalled one incident in particular - A teacher yelling at me for wasting my time constructing a deck of playing cards. I had become fascinated by solitaire, but had no money to purchase a deck of cards, so I made my own out of squares of paper. I would play solitaire in my desk during class, because... class wasn't interesting. The teacher was furious that I was wasting my talent on such useless pursuits.

That incident was not atypical of my youth.

I took this new information to my Dr. and I was tested about a month ago, I have been on aderall for about three weeks now. It is not a miracle drug for me the way some people describe it. I am not suddenly a super-performer.

But it has absolutely stabilized my mood, improved my ability to focus. I missed my dose this Saturday, and Sunday morning, I found my self beginning to feel anxious, and unable to control my runaway thoughts. As I was sitting as church, my mind racing precariously out of control, with thoughts of anxiety and threatening to shift to depression. I experienced the moment the medication - which I had taken an hour earlier - kicked in.

It was really kind of fascinating. In - I would guess - ten or fifteen seconds, I literally felt the anxiety sort of drain out of me, felt myself regain control of my runaway brain. It was amazing!

I still have a few side effects to work through. It is causing some insomnia problems. The first day I took the target dose, I didn't sleep at all that night.  I have been skipping the second dose since then, and have had a couple more sleepless nights. I am working with the doctor to try and get that sorted.

At any rate, after decades, it seems as thought I might finally be homing in on root-cause for my mysterious maladies. Abdominal, and other physical health issues, caused by anxiety/depression, caused by ADHD.

Don't just treat the current symptoms, look for their root cause. The mind is a tricky thing, with phenomenal power.

The government shutdown and socialism

Government shutdowns are a relatively recent phenomena (Late 1970's'. Though some argue that the very first shutdown was in 1879, when Democrats refused to fund the government unless protections for black voters were eliminated).

Why would the government allow the government to shut down? It is the political tool. An appeal to the public to apply pressure to their various constituents. The idea is, create sufficient discomfort for John Q. Public, and convince him that the other guy is to blame, thereby encouraging John to start making calls and threatening to vote 'the other guy', if a capitulation isn't forthcoming.

It is simply one more tool to attempt to control/manipulate the vote of the masses.

There is a rather notable point regarding large-scale socialism in this.

First, you might recall once upon a time, the federal government forced states to  adopt a federally set drinking age and federally set speed limits, but threatening to withhold federal funds for road construction and maintenance. Some states were quote offended by this, but ultimately they toed the line. They needed that federal funding, after all.

And this shows another flaw in socialism. The more dependent the states, cities, and individuals are on goods and services doled out by the federal government, the more tempting it will be for  a handful of polarizing individuals to wreak havoc on the masses in an effort to keep them in line. Individuals gradually lose the freedom to vote according to the dictates of their conscience, and must increasingly remain in lock-step with the... ruling elite.

"Fake News" and Nations divided

I've been largely avoiding social media and news for a while now. While I miss hearing about events in the lives of friends, I don't find I  miss the rest of it. I haven't found myself feeling particularly uninformed either.

I've had some time to consider the term "Fake" News. Conservatives throw it about regarding any story that casts a bad light on them, and liberals, make fun of conservatives for doing it.

Conservatives have chosen the wrong moniker. IT isn't fake news. "Fake" suggests false. And - mostly - what is being reported isn't false.

One for-instance: Children being separated from their (illegal immigrant) parents. Not fake.

It is happening. It also happened while Obama was president. The news media fail to report that. In fact, many of the stories seem carefully crafted to imply the problem is new and unique to the current presidency. So they are in fact telling the truth, just not the whole truth. And of course with the inclusion of opinion, innuendo and unsubstantiated claims, "Nothing but the truth" is also sacrificed.

But it is not fake. Irresponsible, yes. Lacking integrity, yes. Unethical...

Yes, I know Fox News does the same. I'm not taking a side, just correcting terminology.

At any rate, I haven't missed it, and I haven't felt the least bit uninformed.


Anyhow, as I was considering the increasing divide between the conservative and liberal parties. It occurred to me that it actually a bit of history repeating.

Most of you will probably jump to the Civil War. North vs South. The winning side of course claims the cause was just - ending slavery. A few disgruntled ancestors of the losing side still claim that it wasn't really about slavery, that the slavery issue was a distraction from the real drivers behind the war (mostly they claim it was financial. The north was taxing the south to support their lifestyle). But of course, history is written by the victor, so....


But that isn't actually what I was considering. Approximately two thousand years ago, a group if people immigrated to the united states. They prospered for many years. Over time however, conflicts rose, largely motivated by the desires for greater wealth and/or greater power. They eventually split into two parties.Ultimately they slaughtered each other to the last man (see the "Book of Ether" in the Book of Mormon for details).


Of course another group arrived about 600 BC, They too ultimately divided into two factions, then reconciled, then divided again... One of the two factions survived that conflict, the other did not (Read the rest of the Book of Mormon for that saga). So I supposed the liberals and conservatives can both take heart from that. One of you might survive to write the history, and thus claim that your cause was just, was righteous, was beyond reproach... You might even manage to convince yourself that it's true

Good luck with that.

It's the Carbs?

So this thought is tied to my last post, the conversation I had with the guy in Germany, about obesity in the US and the growing problem in Germany, elsewhere, and mutual suspicion we shard about industrial food being a contributor.

Currently it is in vogue to blame it on carbs, but I just took at look at the ingredients list on a "Healthy", whole grain, multi-grain loaf of bread....

The white bread, which is more common traded in the brown sugar for corn syrup.

The bread in the picture below, is also white bread.

It contains flower, water, salt, and yeast.

I'm  thinking maybe the carbs aren't really the problem here....

Adventures in Ireland, Germany and Seattle

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to spend almost a week in Ireland, Followed by a Few days in Germany. It was the first business travel fro me in over a decade. Let me share a few of my observations and adventures.

I have concluded Europeans in general have amazing bladder control. They must. Because how else can they get through day in a city with virtually no public toilets? I did finally manage to find one in the open market in the middle of Cork, Ireland.

Oh yeah, when you travel in Europe, you are going to want to have a few coins in the local currency. The door to the toilet doesn't take credit cards.

Fortunately, a compassionate shop-keep noticed my plight and provided me with the necessary coinage to spare me from disaster.

The fish market in Cork was amazing! Perhaps more so to an inland dweller like myself than to others but...

And there was a restaurant right upstairs which was supplied directly from the market.

I grew up during the cold war, so the "enemy du jour" was the communists, specifically the USSR. But It was still close enough to post WWII, that I was privy to considerable WWII propaganda, in the form of cartoons, Hogans Heroes, etc... I also have vague memories of News reports during the Red Army Faction Era. So, I entered Germany with some subconscious bias, that Germans were abrupt, stern, easily angered... I did my best to ignore it, but it was still there.

My travel plans for that leg of the trip were not especially solid.I arrived in in Hannover late at night, needing to travel to Einohoven, which was a considerable distance away. I couldn't bring myself to spend the roughly $150 for cab fare (even if it was the company's money), so I decided I would try to get there by using the trains.

I don't speak German.

I managed with some small amount of luck to acquire a ticket. I even manged to find the right platform for the first leg of the trip. I knew the name of the stop where I would need to switch trains. I had no idea when that stop would occur.

I managed a timid "Sprechenzie English?" to the  train conductor, who gave the the correct stop count, and he even let me know my next train would be at platform C. Arriving at the correct stop I exited the train.

Panic.

There was platform A, and Station B. There was no platform C. Just then a sweet old lady tapped my shoulder, she had overheard my query on the train. Observing my panic she came over to direct me to  a staircase which would lead me to platform C.

I Finally arrived in Einhoven at 11:30 pm. My heart sank. All I could see was darkness. This was a tiny station, not directly in the city. It was unmanned. I was arriving in the dark of night, and oh yeah, my cell phone wasn't working. I had a brief vision of a news article about a stupid American found beaten to death by an angry Neo-Nazi gang. As I exited the train, I saw a young woman ahead of me. I ran up,  got confirmation that she spoke English, then began to explain my situation, I asked if she could possibly call a cab for me to take me to the Hotel. She called the cab, and then walked me to the location the cab would arrive, letting me know he would be there in 3-5 minutes.

At the end of my work, I got back to the Airport in Hanover the same way. relying on the kindness of strangers. In one case the individual didn't speak English, but by pointing to the tracks and saying "Flughaven?" I was able to express my need to get to the airport. He helped me get onto the correct train.

I spent a bit of time just wandering the streets in Germany. I didn't think to ask about safe or dangerous parts of town. I never found myself concerned for my well being. Everyone I encountered was very kind, very warm, very willing to help.

I contrast that with Seattle.

Due to a medical emergency which delayed our departed from London Heathrow. (That is an intimidating airport. It is enormous, you need a big layover just to get from one part to the next. But, once you understand their process, it is incredibly efficient, and consistent. It is also nice that virtually every airport in Europe uses the same security procedures, unlike the US, where I am never sure when or where I need to remove my shoes, belt, etc...). Once I arrived I went looking for the correct place to work out alternate arrangements since I had missed my connection. The airport employees were too busy playing on their phones to even bother to look up as they gave me terse, and generally inaccurate directions. It took me losing my temper and becoming... ahem... assertive... to finally get some attention. It won't hurt my feelings if I never set foot in Seattle again.

 Oh, there was an amazing Motorcycle museum in Einhoven also, which I got to tour. That was a treat!

They discussed the various unsavory aspects of Germany's history as well in the tour. It was - I felt - impressively frank, fair and honest, without being unnecessarily condemning.

Oh, one particular note I observed which I thought worth considering and taking heed, lest we continue on the path of history repeating...

I also learned in both Ireland and Germany that America has a solid stereotype. Large portions and large girths. A few jokes were made in both sites about my size and appetite being atypical American. Though both sites also commented that was probably an unfair stereotype. More interestingly, In Germany the individual observed that Germany was beginning to experience a problem of growing waistlines. We conversed about it at some length, and concluded the likely key contributors were the growing number of sedentary jobs, the proliferation of electronics (games, TV), and the increased consumption of industrial food (i.e. not fresh, high in preservatives, sugar...)

We also talked healthcare. That was an enlightening conversation. I concluded that there really is no such thing as socialized healthcare. In the countries we classify as having socialized medicine,  there are essentially two healthcare systems. There is the "Socialized" system that we clamor for - that we believe will solve all our problems and make everyone equal. This system is the one for the average and lower class folks it is the one the government pays for. It is the one with four to six month waiting times to see the doctor. Then there is the healthcare system for the upper-middle and wealthy. It either exists as a 2nd tier, or as an under-the-table (aka bribery) system.

In every conversation we came to the same conclusion. We all want everyone to have good healthcare. And we all recognized that "Good healthcare" is entirely too objective, entirely too relative, and is ultimately infinite in size and cost. We all seem willing to give up some of what we have to help others in need, but at the same time we all seem to agree that those who have gotten to where they are by blatant disregard (emphysema from smoking, diabetes from a consistently bad diet...) should be held accountable for their bad choices. We all seemed to realize and acknowledge that at some point, tough decisions must be made, and compromises must be established. Who then makes those decisions? That was the unanswered question.

I noticed that architecturally, Germany was kind of... boring. The houses were all square boxes with unadorned, simple roofs. They all looked the same. And it struck me how incredibly practical it was. They were built to get the most real estate for the least money. Not to impress the neighbors.  It is worth noting I did not see large swaths of the country, and much of what I saw, though on the western side, was near the east/west border. I did catch a glimpse of a castle, sadly I wan't prepared and missed the photo opportunity. :(

While In Germany, an article was released in a business magazine, essentially blaming Germany for Europe's financial struggles. The argument was that the Germans were too thrifty, they were "hoarding" their money instead of "investing in the economy". It occurred to me, that what the business article was actually complaining about was that fact that the German people  hadn't bought into the  popular "eat, drink, and be merry" mindset that everyone else has. Instead of living right on the ragged edge of disaster and hoping someone will come along and bail them out when something doesn't go according to plan, the Germans are largely living within their means, saving for that inevitable rainy day. Good on them.

One last interesting observation: During one of my Heathrow layovers, I was sitting near a group of young British girls (as in mid 20's to mid 30's). I overheard them discussing various locations in the US, which were far superior in culture, custom, politics, etc... than their own home country. That was an unexpected eye opener for me. Perhaps it was naive of me, but I honestly thought Americans were the only people people who spent a couple days in another country, and then went about snobbishly denigrating their own country based on their now "vast knowledge" of said other country.
 People really are the same everywhere.

Fixing Terrorism and Mass shootings

After this post, I will likely have a new “regrets” post to write. But as I have watched the conversation around mass shootings, I feel compelled to write.

First, let me explain to you why I feel I am qualified to have a voice on this topic (here comes the regret post). When I was around six or seven years old, one of my best friends tried to psychologically manipulate me into participating in anal intercourse with him. No, I new nothing about the birds and the bees at the time. Nor did I at age nine or ten when I was exposed to hard core pornography. Nor did I at the age of 12 when I was molested by a leader at a scout camp (I didn’t connect the dots until roughly ten years later, when I saw a new report of that individual being arrested for similar offenses).

I was… am… moderately socially incompetent. I am also an introvert, with a social anxiety disorder, and a predisposition to compulsion and addiction.

On my mission, I had a companion who was fostering a relationship with a young woman. Everyone else figured it out, I didn’t catch on until 3 days before I got called in and yelled at for not reporting it.

In my late twenties, my employer took all his employees to the lake one weekend. As we were unloading his personal water craft, a young woman came and very overtly came on to me. Everyone at the lake could tell. Except me. I got teased mercilessly for that. Later that year, the same employer took us to see a comedian in Las Vegas while at a technology convention. This comedian’s humor consisted mostly of picking on audience members (aka bullying). I was in the front row. Nearly his entire 1 hour on stage revolved around jokes about a nearly 30 year old computer nerd/virgin/loser from Utah. I went to my hotel room that night and cursed the window locks that prevented me from jumping.

Prior to that job, I was in college, relying on a scholarship to pay my way. Somehow, when trying to transition to off campus housing, I got trapped with two apartment contracts, one on-campus and one off-campus. I tried to get help resolving the situation, but… large bureaucratic organizations aren’t sympathetic to quiet, introverts who have neither the social nor financial connections to get the wheels turning. At the time I was struggling to keep myself fed. I had no idea how I would pay two contracts. I was shuffled around from one bureaucrat’s office to the next, listening to a steady drone about “policy and procedure…”. When I finally lost my mind and had a full-blown screaming meltdown in one office, they finally released the contract, and sent me on my way with a token for a free ice cream cone.

I tried to get additional scholarships after that. I spent a fair amount of time perusing an enormous book of scholarships, looking for some I could apply for. There were pages upon pages of scholarships with requirements I could not meet; African-American, Hispanic, Native American, Female (there was one specific scholarship restricted to women over 6 feet tall in fact)…

I finally had to drop out, of school due to illness brought on by stress. Every test was a trigger. Group critiques were even worse. Finances were always a matter of just getting by. I had found it necessary to take on school loans when the one scholarship I had ran out. So, I left the university – without a degree -  to a low paying job, with the burden of student loan debt, and a maxed-out credit card to cover medical costs.

A decade later, I managed to finish a degree by taking one class a semester, and thanks to a series of fortunate events which placed me with an employer who funded those courses. and with a manager who saw my intellectual and ethical value, in spite of my social incompetence and lack of degree.

Sadly, such things don’t last. The company was acquired by ever larger corporations, and once again I find myself a quiet, insecure, introvert in a boundless bureaucracy which rewards extroverts. And grinds my lot to dust.

I live In a world which continues to send the message that I am somehow inherently bad because I am white, male, straight, religious (it is funny how exclusionary the inclusivity rhetoric can feel)…

I live in a world that utterly disregards my struggles with addiction, deriding any who dare speak out about the proliferation of sensual media as prudish, and demanding their freedom of expression.

I live in a world that produces mountains of negative, contentious media which overloads my introverted anxiety-ridden mind. I live in a world where I am all to often alone in a crowded room, enduring levels of stimulation I cannot bear because it is “the norm”, and because I must, in order maintain my career, to feed my family.

I believe I am qualified to speak on this topic because I understand. I know the feeling of hopelessness, of Isolation. Of not fitting in. Of seeing no path forward through the morass of rules and regulations, policies and procedures, cliques and clans, social barriers…

More rules and regulations won’t fix this. They are in fact part of the problem…the frustrating, uncaring, bureaucracy they foster helps create the environment where isolation, hopelessness and anonymity wreak havoc on the tender mind.

The mental health conversation as it stands won’t help either. This group already feels like victims of discrimination. They are already isolated, already on the outside. Do you really believe further stigmatization, further restriction, further discrimination will help?

What will help? For starters, practice that “Inclusiveness” that you pretend to believe in. stop picking winners in the victim game. We are all victims in one way or another. Life is hard, bad stuff happens. Demonstrate a little tolerance and empathy. For everyone. Especially those individuals you don’t easily relate to.

Don’t demand that everyone conform to your standard of “normal”. We as a society spend millions to accommodate the hearing impaired, the blind. We construct modern buildings to accommodate those who are wheelchair bound. We have special schools for the autistic and for various mental handicaps to tailor the learning experience to their specific needs, we create work environments to accommodate their limitations, capitalize on their strengths and help them to be able to thrive as they are. Yet those who deal with attention deficit disorders, anxiety, even to a lesser degree introversion are expected to conform to the “norm”. and if they are unable to do so sufficiently on their own, then we medicate them to make them behave more “normally”.

I believe that to a considerable extent this country exists because of ADD. It would take a certain degree of dissatisfaction and disregard for personal safety in order to cause a person to leave the “civilized world”, cross a massive ocean on a little wooden boat, then attempt to carve out a livelihood in a new, untamed, unfamiliar land. Yet we now consider that trait which played such a key role in the creation of this nation as a blight, an undesirable trait that must be quashed. That is part of why I don’t think it is valid to compare Europe to the US. The US was created by those who could no longer tolerate the European way of doing things. They came here to get away from that. It is simply not in their DNA. I don’t in any way imply one is better than the other. They are simply different. If you are so fond of the European way, then perhaps you should move to Europe, and leave America for the “Crazy”, Anxious, ADD Americans.

Can we not find a way to accommodate their needs, and capitalize on their strengths, and help them to be able to thrive as they are? Must they be forced to deal with the cost and side effects of mind altering medications in order to fit in? Can they not also be included, accepted and celebrated for who they are?

Do you know what kept me from being one of the headlines? My Family, and my religion.

I love my family. I feel loved by them. The thought of causing them pain or sorrow has more than once brought me back from the precipice.

My religion gives me hope that at least some portion of what I think and feel is because I am “broken”, just as a person born without limbs, or eyes, or hearing, or with a malfunctioning heart… is broken. That it is not really - who I am. It gives me hope that someday - perhaps not until after my time on this earth is over, but someday – Through the atonement of Jesus Christ, I will be made whole. I will be repaired. I will be able to think and feel as I really am, without the limitations imposed on me by this imperfect, mortal body.

My religion gives me the book of Mormon and with it, stories of a few brief periods when groups of people on this earth managed to live “after the manner of happiness”. Periods when they treated each other with respect and kindness.  When they reached out to their neighbors and made sure that none were left without food, clothing, or shelter. When they spent their time looking for opportunities to serve and lift rather than working to get their government to make sure everyone conformed to their particular view of “fairness”, or compensate those who in their eyes suffered more. I cling desperately to the hope that someday, maybe I can experience that.

Of course this, will likely be ignored or “poo-pooed” by many because I am just another one of those  “uneducated backwoods folks, with his inherent privilege, clinging to his religion”. And because “statistics say blah blah…”. What you are failing to understand is the people you are talking about are part of the three, four, or even six sigma. They don’t fall within the standard deviation. They are the anomaly in your statistical analysis. Your way of viewing the world fails to account for their experience. Your intellectual superiority is really just blind arrogance, and lack of real empathy.

You really want to make a difference? Then YOU make a difference. Be kinder, be more tolerant, look for opportunities to encourage, serve and lift others.

Stop spreading negative memes and stories. The country has survived over a century of “bad presidents” who were going to be the “ruin of the nation”.  Some of those terrible presidents are even revered today. This president won’t be any different, nor will the next one, so long as “we the people” make kindness our watchword. And that starts with you. There have always been groups who were misunderstood, mistreated. Continuing to dredge up the past in order to lay blame, or claim reparations only perpetuates the problem. All the negative rhetoric does is contribute to the sense of hopelessness that threatens to engulf those who deal with anxiety and isolation. All it does is make us look down, rather than up. They become Self-fulfilling prophecies.

If everyone stops watching the negative news, then those who produce it will be forced to find more productive ways to earn money. It will dry up, and the cycle will stop.

You really want to make a difference. Make a sincere effort to see the world through the eyes of others. For example, you know those Victoria’s Secret posters and other sexy ads you feel are no big deal and are protected by free speech? Those yoga pants that show off those curves you’ve worked so hard to achieve, and deserve to show off? To those struggling with sex addiction, those are roughly the equivalent of a handful of cocaine blown into the face of a recovering drug addict. Imagine taking a super soaker full of bourbon and hosing down a struggling alcoholic. It’s kind of like that. I’m not suggesting passing restrictive laws. I am asking you to consider the millions of people around you every day, and make an effort – if not to make their lives a little better, then to at least not contribute to their personal hell.

You really want to make a difference? Then Serve. Love. Follow the Example of Jesus Christ. You don’t have to believe he is the Son of God to study his life – his example of kindness, healing, serving, humility, encouragement, mercy… – and emulate it. A staunch atheist can appreciate and emulate him as easily as a faithful devotee.

Of course I imagine none of what I have written matters. I remember a conversation I had with someone not long ago, somehow the subject of Marijuana came up. He said that "If there were any real medical benefit to be had from Marijuana, the big pharmaceutical companies would have already capitalized on it. Having worked in close proximity to Big Pharma, a Noted that Marijuana was a difficult play for them, because as a natural substance there was little opportunity for patents or other means to be able to recoup the inordinate cost to bring a product through the regulatory hurdles to market. Additionally, int he US at least, the legal classification of Marijuana makes it more difficult to work with than Heroin. Finally, I noted some studies which have shown efficacy relating to certain specific treatments. He stared at me blankly for a moment, then repeated the exact same comment as before, nearly word for word.

In other words. Nothing I have said will matter, because nobody will really listen. 

And with that, I will close this, and begin my cycle of regret for having written it in the first place.

Moore's Law, Hanlan, and Empathy

"Never attribute to malice, that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or incompetence"
                        -Hanlan's Razor


This is my closing thought on a series of three posts you can find the first one here, and the second one here.

In the prior two, I presented a model, based on the methodology of Moore's law, for fixing America's social and political problems. It is a well-documented methodology, known by many other names, including positive affirmations or law of attraction. You assume the desired state, and behave as though you are at (or very near) that state.

But what about those pesky outliers? What about the individuals who... "Don't play along", What do you do when you are running around acting like racism is a thing of the past, and someone makes a racist comment? How do you deal with a police officer who is flaunting his authority, while pretending that police are good guys?

The answer, it depends. There are two crucial tools you rely on: Hanlan's Razor (stated above), and empathy.

First, a word about Hanlan's Razor. It sounds very insulting; "Ignorance or incompetence". It really isn't. Ignorant means "Lacking knowledge or awareness". It can mean in general, but more practically - and for our purposes in means in particular. We are ignorant about some things. When it comes to cricket, corporate accounting, the saxophone, advanced biology or chemistry (probably remedial biology or chemistry as well), I am ignorant. I have very limited knowledge. In fact, I am relatively ignorant regarding most subjects.

Incompetence means "not having the necessary skills to do something successfully". In addition to being ignorant with respect to the saxophone, I am also incompetent.

It isn't necessarily bad. It can be inconvenient. It is problematic, because we are all fairly incompetent when it comes to gauging our level of incompetence. And it is also problematic because once we are competent, we tend to forget what it was like to be incompetent, and therefore assume everyone should be competent (and we are often impatient when they do not live up to our expectation of competency, based on our ignorant evaluation of our level of non-ignorance).

So make Hanlan's razor a mantra, and then apply a little empathy.

Some examples:

You are stopped by a policeman, you follow all the rules: hands on the steering wheel, fingers extended, driver's license on the dash in front of you. You smile and address him politely. And he responds curtly, unkindly he is rude.

Invoke Hanlan and your inner empath. What might be going on? Maybe he has had a bad day. Maybe he just learned this morning that his wife has cancer, and it is stressing him out. right now. Maybe he just heard about an officer who got shot during a routine stop, and he's having a hard time remembering the most people are good. You might be thinking "or maybe he is a pompous jerk." What makes our fantasy any more valid than mine? You already know (part 2) how this is going to go down if you assume the latter and react. What if you assume the former, and the latter is in fact true? It may not get better, but it is incredibly unlikely to get worse. And when the encounter is over, you can contact the police station, and (politely) provide feedback to his commanding officer

If you find that the officer is particularly polite, I would also recommend calling and giving feedback. I did this once. I was in an accident. It was my fault. The officer was very polite. He took all the information, and almost apologetically informed me that he would have to write me a citation. I called a few days and let his superior know how impressed and appreciative I was. His commanding officer in turn expressed appreciation to me for giving him a rare bit of positive feedback. It was great!)

What about something like this "What are your thoughts on intended insults and racism? You may not have the opportunity to take someone aside and say "when you called my son the n-word, that was hurtful and racist" or when someone shouts "go back to China chink!" From a car to someone walking."

Again, Hanlan's Razor and empathy are the mantras. Who made the insult?

Was it a grouchy old man? There are people alive still, who lived during periods of real institutional racism. That term has been misused a bit of late - watered down, but during world war two there was genuine institutional racism. People of Japanese descent and German descent were interred in camps (POW camps, for all practical purposes) throughout America. They were "the enemy." (Refer back to my comments in the second post about our natural tendency to categorize and gather the herd). And as the enemy, who we were at war with, we also applied a... let's call it a coping mechanism. In order to suppress that little voice (conscience, holy ghost, the light of Christ, the spirit...) that whispers that killing other people is wrong, we do things to dehumanize them. Terms like "jap", "nip", "jerry", "kraut" came into fashion. The media churned out all kinds of programs, including children's cartoons, which present them as dumb, vile, or both. After World war II came the cold war, and we switched to "ruskies", "chinks", "charlie", "commies"...

There are some for whom those habits are deeply ingrained you may not be able to do much other than show them kindness, feel pity for them (They are as addicted to their fear and hate, as an alcoholic is to his whiskey bottle, and they will quite likely die with that burden). Explain this to your children, so they can develop a better understanding of the horrible toll war takes on people. Be kind to them if you can (sometimes it works). That failing (avoid them if practical). Failing that, notify the authorities if absolutely necessary.

What if it is a youth, or a teen? Youth today have not experience real institutional racism. While it is possible the youth has learned and is evoking real racism, it is actually more likely what they are actually exhibiting is plain old-fashioned bullying. Race just happened to be a convenient target, which provided sufficient shock value. How do you deal with it? You treat it as what it is; bullying. Bullying is bad, it doesn't matter if the victim is black, Chinese, handicapped, female... or a white male. It is always wrong. It is always bad. Deal with it accordingly.

If you can have a (polite) conversation with that youth, or that youths parents, perhaps you will find that the behavior came as the result of said youth getting bad information from somewhere, and you may be able to correct that issue peacefully (refer to "My Experience With Religious Persecution" for an example). The key is to let go of your assumptions, your biases, and engage empathy and attempt to understand where the behavior is coming from, then (and only then) you can hope to respond appropriately (Another Mantra which you should commit to memory, which may help with this "People almost never do things TO others, they do thing FOR themselves").

If you run into the "It's just kids being kids" talk, repeat to yourself. "It used to be that way, but we are better than that now." (Another use of positive affirmation). It might be worth saying it out loud too.

What if that fails? Then take it to appropriate authorities. What if said authorities don't take it seriously (for instance if a boy is the victim of racial slurs and death threats, and the school officials decide a couple days suspension is sufficient)? Take it to the next level of authorities (This may be necessary at times, in a case like the a well meaning official who is a friend of the family, may fail to recuse himself, and may feel compelled to let the boy of easy so as not to "ruin his future" Hanlan's Razor is once again at work. Said official fails to understand that he is setting the bully up for future, and more damaging- failure.

It may seem from that last paragraph that we got to the same place with considerably more work on our part. But there is a very significant difference. We gave the offender every chance to make a course correction. We made it easier for them to make that correction by NOT feeding their desire for attention, or their potential misplaced fear, or their potential misconception that the world is out to get them. ( I wish I could find a Garfield comic I remember seeing as a teen to sick here. It shows Garfield standing behind Odie, thinking about all the means things Odie MIGHT do to him. It ends with Garfield clobbering poor, oblivious Odie and then proclaiming "I hit him back first!").

Will this complete fix every person in America? No, people are people (Depeche Mode reference). However, presently, Active, card caring white supremacists make up less than one one-hundredth of one percent of the population. They are irrelevant. One the other hand. Polls indicate that roughly 9% of Americans are... on the fence... (and that number represents a roughly 17% increase from 2014, according to some polls) leaning in favor of white supremacist views. Would you rather continue to have "Hard conversations", continue to berate them over their "privilege", continue to make them feel attacked, continue to drive them to "Circle the wagons", continue to push them form borderline to violent... Or would you rather show them a better way. Invite them to be part of a truly inclusive world? A world were the insignificant majority simply has no voice;  are no more than 'that crazy guy on the corner' that the world pities, but ultimately ignores, until they simply fade into the background.

Don't write this off as psycho-mumbo jumbo, or new-age, crystals and snake oil nonsense. There is a considerable body of psychological, and Neuroscience research to back the efficacy of affirmations (I will list a few below.

And I won't pretend this will be easy, we aren't at the baseline image I offered up in the second post, we have let the Natural man run the show for a while, we have a bit of ground to make up. But it is achievable. But it is your choice. Continue to focus on the future you fear, or begin to focus on the future you desire.

Self-Affirmations Can Boost Performance, Study Shows

Brain Scans Can Help Explain Why Self-Affirmation Works

The Psychology of Change: Self-Affirmation and Social Psychological Intervention

Self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward and is reinforced by future orientation