My 50th Birthday just happened. A half-century. Kind if a big deal I think.
Especially given my history with aging.
My Mother used to tell a story about when I was little (3? 5? somewhere in there). I had my life plan in place. I was going to be a farmer. I apparently had a blueprint with milestones, though I don't recall her saying much about the specifics. At any rate, after going through the plan, she suggested I need to make sure I included a mission in my timeline. I asked how old that would be. She said 19-21.
I became quite distressed by this because 20 was "Over the hill!!!"
Later in high-school, and the couple years following that, the plan had changed to joining the Air Force, becoming a fighter pilot, and dying heroically in a dog fight sometime before I turned forty. I had some kind phobia of aging I guess.
So, yeah, fifty! Kind of a big deal.
A couple weeks before, I started thinking about the fact that this was one of those big one's. And decided that I wanted it to be celebrated accordingly. Of course, my first thought was a big party. get lots of friends together.
But. That just didn't quite feel right. maybe in part because I am something of an introvert. or maybe my lack of self-esteem. In part our current accommodations, don't really lend to big gatherings. I hate for people- especially large groups- to have to get off and then back on the highway. And since we are right on the highway, there really isn't much room for parking.
Then it came to me. Fifty acts of kindness! That's how I wanted to spend my birthday! I started writing down and looking up ideas for things to do. There were a number of things I really liked, but that were really not in the budget, particularly while trying to build a house, and especially when home-building costs are outrageously high.
Then I remembered a YouTube video I had watched- a Ted talk by a musician, about asking. She talked about starting her career as a statue - one of those people who stands super still and has a can for people to put tips in. She talked about how that influenced her music career, how today she makes her music freely available online and relies on the goodwill of her fans (She's a multi-millionaire, by the way).
I am not good at asking for help. A pride thing mostly, I guess. I feel like I have the ability to do things, so I should just do them. Probably that self-esteem thing plays a role here as well.
But I had also just recently watch a video about embracing trials, and doing hard things with enthusiasm, so I decided to step out of my comfort zone. I set up a gofundme campaign, and asked for donations to help. Four kind people Donated a total of $40!
So, the day before my birthday, I withdrew $100 and got ready for the big day.
Okay, I cheated a little bit. I started the night before my birthday, by giving a $20 tip for a $16 meal. The waitress was such a sweet, happy person, it just seemed the right way to kick it off.
I went to the temple early that morning which seemed like a great way to start the day. Then I raced (at the speed limit) to where the cross country team (including my daughter) were running for their workout. and cheered for them (we had planned to follow them, playing eye of the tiger, but that didn't work out, due to a misunderstanding of their route. Still got to cheer for them though!).
I stopped to get my family donuts for breakfast, and decided to buy the order of the couple in front of me. That turned out pretty cool, I don't know how the couple reacted, but it did seem to make the cashier's day. She was just telling me she would be right with me after she rang up the order ahead of me.
"Actually," I said, then leaned over the counter, and in a conspiratorial whisper I said, "I'd like to pay for their order as well."
She looked surprised at first, then lit up in a big smile and said "Thank-you!" She then took my order, gave me the total and took my card for payment. I suspect this might have been a bit puzzling for the couple who was ahead of me; Here I was behind them, and I was getting my order before them. I grabbed my receipt and was out the door before the cashier could give them their donuts.
For the rest of the day, I enlisted the aid of my family (since some of the things we did might have seemed creepy being done by a 50 year old man, but totally fine by four kids in their tweens and teens).
We taped envelopes with quarters to several vending machines. We also picked a couple store items and taped envelopes to them, with enough money to buy the item (with a little change left over).
We put post-its on the mirrors of a few public restrooms with notes that said things like,
"You are Beautiful"
"You are Amazing!"
"You rock!"
We also put post-its on some cars, and a few doors of public buildings (We specifically put a "You Rock!" on the door of the geology building at USU. Couldn't pass that up). And other messages like "Always be like a proton: Positive".
We also purchased a dozen roses, and handed roses out to strangers (my kids did that, to reduce the chances of me getting pepper-sprayed).
And there were a few other little things- holding doors, an award certificate to a little girl for having the cutest face,... It was interesting seeing peoples' reactions; some were puzzled, some preoccupied, some were guarded, some were very appreciative.
It was great fun! I counted a little over 60 acts of kindness performed with the help of my wife and children. My kids loved it as well (My oldest daughter said the roses were her favorite). My wife made the observation that my youngest two, who bicker and quarrel with each other a great deal, did not do so once the entire time we were engaged in this project. It was great to see them having so much fun serving others.
There was also an interesting twist that afternoon. We have a tradition of taking the kids to the American West Heritage Center around this time every year, to go through the corn maze, play the outdoor games and such. We were going to go Saturday, but decided to go that afternoon instead, as the forecast had rain on Saturday. Since it was after 2 pm, and we hadn't stopped for lunch, we decided we'd treat the kids to lunch there.
There were a couple of vendors there, but the BBQ vendor won the vote. We ordered hot dogs or pulled pork sandwiches for everyone and sat down at a table to eat. Then the owner of the trailer walked over, said "Why don't you take this to help feed your family." and handed me a container with a half-rack of ribs! An act of kindness returned!
He came back after a while and just visited with us, which was thoroughly enjoyable. You know, just sharing pleasant conversation with someone can be such an act of kindness.
So that was my 50th birthday. It was without a doubt THE BEST Birthday I have ever had.
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So far....
