Okay, this barely qualifies as a post.
Because this recipe is not mine, and I have made no modifications to it. I just use it as-is from kitchn.com.
So....
Here is the link...
https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-beginner-sourdough-sandwich-loaf-recipes-from-the-kitchn-48192
It is a great loaf for sandwiches. My personal favorite is ham and pepperoni. Add some mustard, lettuce, tomato, pickle, a few banana peppers.
Very tasty. I have been told sourdough keeps longer than other breads, due to the slightly higher acidity. I really wouldn't know though, The first loaf is usually gone the Day I bake it, the second loaf is gone the day after.
I have done this loaf artisan style (i.e. This recipe, using the Dutch oven to bake.) It is no match for the Artisan sourdough recipe. Does take considerably less time though.
Monday, February 18, 2019
Sunday, February 17, 2019
No Knead Artisan Sourdough Bread
This is where the sourdough romance began for me. This was my first sourdough recipe.
Note this is not my recipe, though I have made a few tweaks to it.
The original recipe is here, at the previously mentioned kitchn.com site.
My main change was cook times. I found I was burning my bread using the give cook times and temps. Perhaps it has to do with altitude, or accuracy of oven temp.
First a couple notes from my personal learning. The numbers are the steps in the recipe they coincide with:
6. If you have not worked with a high hydration dough before, you will be uncomfortable with how wet, shapeless, shaggy and sticky this dough is at this point. You will be tempted to add more flour. Don't. Just trust the process. It will turn out just fine.
You can use whole wheat flour for up to half the amount of flour. I find I prefer approximately 1/3 whole wheat to 2/3 white flour. I have tried both all purpose and bread flour. I apparently am not sophisticated enough to tell the difference, but bread flour has a higher protein content, and should therefor give you a slightly sturdier bread.
7. For the rest, I have found longer is better. Aim to let it rest for the full four hours if you can. Time is the magic ingredient in this bread. I have a bowl which is the right size for me to use an upside-down plate as a cover, This works very well.
9. Before each fold, I wash my hands, then pat them dry, leaving a little moisture behind. This seems to help keep the dough form sticking so much. Again, resist the urge to add flour, the dough will become smoother, easier to work with after each folding session.
12. I might try to create and add a video of the scraper process - at least the way I do it. I haven't been able to find one. Basically, you work your way around the dough ball, using the scraper to tuck the dough under the ball as you go. The "skin" of the ball with become taut.
14. I have one proofing basket which I received as a gift, for the other, I use a melamine bowl, roughly 8 inch in diameter and quite close to a half-sphere. I really wish I had too proofing baskets, they are much easier to work with and produce a generally better looking loaf. I highly recommend them. Flour the insert and drop the loaf in.
17. I usually let the dough rise overnight in the fridge. I start my levain Friday night, do all the mixing, folding, resting and shaping Saturday, and then bake Sunday. If you are doing it this way, I strongly recommend giving it an hour or two rise time at room temperature before moving to the fridge. Maybe my fridge is set too cold, but the overnight rise really doesn't suffice. I do think the dough is easier to handle cold though, so better to rise and chill than to chill overnight, and then bring to room temp to rise just before cooking.
18. Dutch oven: This is a crucial tool for baking this bread. The dutch oven gives you the moisture control and temperature consistency which gives you the amazing crust. Also note you are preheating the dutch oven, not just the oven. Give it 15-20 minutes. The originally recipe call for 500 F, I reudce this by 10 degrees. You may want to experiment.
21. The original calls for 20 minutes. I reduced to 18. Again, you may want to play with this.
24. My bread is usually done by this time, so I don't bake the additional 15 to 25 minutes they recommend. It is okay to have a bit of charring on the bread, as it does boost the flavor. The one in the picture above is a tad lighter than I usually go.
There you have it. Enjoy!
Note this is not my recipe, though I have made a few tweaks to it.
The original recipe is here, at the previously mentioned kitchn.com site.
My main change was cook times. I found I was burning my bread using the give cook times and temps. Perhaps it has to do with altitude, or accuracy of oven temp.
First a couple notes from my personal learning. The numbers are the steps in the recipe they coincide with:
6. If you have not worked with a high hydration dough before, you will be uncomfortable with how wet, shapeless, shaggy and sticky this dough is at this point. You will be tempted to add more flour. Don't. Just trust the process. It will turn out just fine.
You can use whole wheat flour for up to half the amount of flour. I find I prefer approximately 1/3 whole wheat to 2/3 white flour. I have tried both all purpose and bread flour. I apparently am not sophisticated enough to tell the difference, but bread flour has a higher protein content, and should therefor give you a slightly sturdier bread.
7. For the rest, I have found longer is better. Aim to let it rest for the full four hours if you can. Time is the magic ingredient in this bread. I have a bowl which is the right size for me to use an upside-down plate as a cover, This works very well.
9. Before each fold, I wash my hands, then pat them dry, leaving a little moisture behind. This seems to help keep the dough form sticking so much. Again, resist the urge to add flour, the dough will become smoother, easier to work with after each folding session.
12. I might try to create and add a video of the scraper process - at least the way I do it. I haven't been able to find one. Basically, you work your way around the dough ball, using the scraper to tuck the dough under the ball as you go. The "skin" of the ball with become taut.
14. I have one proofing basket which I received as a gift, for the other, I use a melamine bowl, roughly 8 inch in diameter and quite close to a half-sphere. I really wish I had too proofing baskets, they are much easier to work with and produce a generally better looking loaf. I highly recommend them. Flour the insert and drop the loaf in.
17. I usually let the dough rise overnight in the fridge. I start my levain Friday night, do all the mixing, folding, resting and shaping Saturday, and then bake Sunday. If you are doing it this way, I strongly recommend giving it an hour or two rise time at room temperature before moving to the fridge. Maybe my fridge is set too cold, but the overnight rise really doesn't suffice. I do think the dough is easier to handle cold though, so better to rise and chill than to chill overnight, and then bring to room temp to rise just before cooking.
18. Dutch oven: This is a crucial tool for baking this bread. The dutch oven gives you the moisture control and temperature consistency which gives you the amazing crust. Also note you are preheating the dutch oven, not just the oven. Give it 15-20 minutes. The originally recipe call for 500 F, I reudce this by 10 degrees. You may want to experiment.
21. The original calls for 20 minutes. I reduced to 18. Again, you may want to play with this.
24. My bread is usually done by this time, so I don't bake the additional 15 to 25 minutes they recommend. It is okay to have a bit of charring on the bread, as it does boost the flavor. The one in the picture above is a tad lighter than I usually go.
There you have it. Enjoy!
Ingredients
For the leaven:
1 tablespoon active
sourdough starter
75 grams (1/2 cup)
all-purpose flour or bread flour
75 grams (1/3 cup)
water
For the dough:
1 tablespoon salt
525 grams (2 1/2
cups) water
700 grams (5 1/2
cups) all-purpose flour or bread flour
Equipment
Small mixing bowl
Large mixing bowl
Plastic wrap or
other covering for the bowls
Spatula
Pastry scraper
Bread proofing
baskets, colanders, or mixing bowls
Dutch ovens or large
heavy-bottomed pots with lids
Lame, sharp knife,
or serrated knife
Instructions
- Make sure your sourdough culture is active: If your sourdough has been in the fridge, take it out 2 to 3 days before you plan to bake. Feed it daily to make sure it's strong and very active before you make the bread.
- Make the leaven (overnight): The night before you plan to make the dough, combine a tablespoon of active sourdough culture with the flour and water for the leaven. Mix thoroughly to form a thick batter. Cover and let stand at room temperature overnight, for about 12 hours.
- Test that the leaven is ready: Generally, if the surface of the leaven is very bubbly, it's ready to be used. To double check, drop a small spoonful of the leaven in a cup of water; if the leaven floats, it's ready.
- Dissolve the salt: Combine the salt and 50 grams (about 1/4 cup) of the water for the dough in a small bowl. Set aside, stirring every so often to make sure the salt dissolves.
- Mix the leaven and water: Combine the leaven and the remaining 475 grams (2 cups) of water for the dough in a large mixing bowl. Stir with a spatula or use your hands to break up and dissolve the leaven into the water. It's OK if the leaven doesn't fully dissolve and a few clumps remain.
- Add the flour: Stir the flour into the water and leaven with a spatula until you see no more visible dry flour and you've formed a very shaggy dough.
- Rest the dough (30 minutes, or up to 4 hours): Cover the bowl and let the dough rest for at least 30 minutes or up to 4 hours. This is the autolyse stage where the flour is fully absorbing the water and enzymes in the flour begin breaking down the starches and proteins.
- Mix in the salt: Pour the dissolved salt over the dough. Work the liquid and salt into the dough by pinching and squeezing the dough. The dough will feel quite wet and loose at this point.
- Begin folding the dough (2 1/2 hours): To fold the dough, grab the dough at one side, lift it up, and fold it over on top of itself. Fold the dough four times, moving clockwise from the top of the bowl (or giving the bowl a quarter turn in between folds). Let the dough rest 30 minutes, then repeat. Do this a total of 6 times, every half hour for a total of 2 1/2 hours. The dough will start out shaggy and very loose, but will gradually smooth out and become tighter as you continue folding.
- Let the dough rise undisturbed (30 to 60 minutes): Once you've finished the folds, let the dough rise undisturbed for 30 to 60 minutes, until it looks slightly puffed. This dough won't double in size the way regular, non-sourdough breads will; it should just look larger than it did when you started.
- Divide the dough: Sprinkle some flour over your counter and turn the dough out on top. Work gently to avoid deflating the dough. Use a pastry scraper to divide the dough in half.
- Shape the dough into loose rounds: Sprinkle a little flour over each piece of dough. Use your pastry scraper to shape each one into loose rounds — this isn't the final shaping, just a preliminary shaping to prep the dough for further shaping. Shape them into rounds by slipping your pastry scraper under the edge of the dough and then scraping it around curve of the dough, like turning left when driving. Do this a few times to build the surface tension in the dough (it makes more sense to do it than to read about it!). Flour your pastry scraper as needed to keep it from sticking to the dough.
- Rest the dough (20 to 30 minutes): Once both pieces of dough are shaped, let them rest for 20 to 30 minutes to relax the gluten again before final shaping.
- Prepare 2 bread proofing baskets, colanders, or mixing bowls: Line 2 bread proofing baskets, colanders, or mixing bowls with clean dishtowels. Dust them heavily with flour, rubbing the flour into the cloth on the bottom and up the sides with your fingers. Use more flour than you think you'll need — it should form a thin layer over the surface of the towel.
- Shape the loaves: Dust the top of one of the balls of dough with flour. Flip it over with a pastry scraper so that the floured side is against the board and the un-floured, sticky surface is up. Shape the loaf much like you folded the dough earlier: Grab the lip of the dough at the bottom, pull it gently up, then fold it over onto the center of the dough. Repeat with the right and left side of the dough. Repeat with the top of the dough, but once you've fold it downward, use your thumb to grab the bottom lip again and gently roll the dough right-side up. If it's not quite a round or doesn't seem taut to you, cup your palms around the dough and rotate it against the counter to shape it up. Repeat with the second ball of dough.
- Transfer to the proofing baskets: Dust the tops and sides of the shaped loaves generously with flour. Place them into the proofing baskets upside down, so the seams from shaping are on top.
- Let the dough rise (3 to 4 hours, or overnight in the fridge): Cover the baskets loosely with plastic, or place them inside clean plastic bags. Let them rise at room temperature until they look billowy and poofy, 3 to 4 hours. Alternatively, place the covered basket in the refrigerator and let them rise slowly overnight, 12 to 15 hours. If rising overnight, bake the loaves straight from the fridge; no need to warm before baking.
- Heat the oven to 490°F: Place two Dutch ovens or other heavy-bottomed pots with lids in the oven, and heat to 4900°F. (If you don't have two pots, you can bake one loaf after the next.)
- Transfer the loaves to the Dutch ovens: Carefully remove one of the Dutch ovens from the oven and remove the lid. Tip the loaf into the pot so the seam-side is down. Repeat with the second loaf. (See Recipe Note if your loaf sticks to the basket.)
- Score the top of the loaf: Use a lame, sharp knife, or serrated knife to quickly score the surface of the loaves. Try to score at a slight angle, so you're cutting almost parallel to the surface of the loaf; this gives the loaves the distinctive "shelf" along the score line.
- Bake the loaves for 18 minutes: Cover the pots and place them in the oven to bake for 18 minutes.
- Reduce the oven temperature to 450°F and bake another 10 minutes. Resist the temptation to check the loaves at this point; just reduce the oven temperature.
- Remove the lids and continue baking 15 to 25 minutes: After 30 minutes of baking, remove the lids from the pots to release any remaining steam. At this point, the loaves should have "sprung" up, have a dry surface, and be just beginning to show golden color. Place the pots back in the oven, uncovered.
- Bake another 15 to 25 minutes. Continue baking until the crust is deeply browned; aim for just short of burnt. It might feel a bit unnatural to bake loaves this fully, but this is where a lot of the flavor and texture of the crust comes in.
- Cool the loaves completely: When done, lift the loaves out of the pots using a spatula. Transfer them to cooling racks to cool completely. Wait until they have cooled to room temperature before slicing.
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Storing Sourdough
Okay, I really don't have all that much to say about this personally. If you are feeding your sourdough every day, and your aren't making bread almost every day, you are going to have a surplus of sourdough.
You could just discard some. It amounts to pennies of flour and water.
But some of us cringe at the thought of even that small waste.
You could also use other recipes, which use larger amounts of starter. (For instance, At the end of the week, I will either make pretzels, or I will make a batch of pizza crusts. (Recipes coming soon).
Or, you can just let it die, and start again next time you feel the urge to make sourdough something.
Or, you can use a technique for longer term storage.
Below is the excellent video I found on this very topic.
I have only used the refrigeration technique personally. I feed my starter, and stick it in the fridge. I feed it once every week to 10 days. When I want to make bread again, I pull it out three days before, and start daily feedings, to give it time to wake up. This works well.
For the other techniques, please refer to the Video below.
[Return to Index]
You could just discard some. It amounts to pennies of flour and water.
But some of us cringe at the thought of even that small waste.
You could also use other recipes, which use larger amounts of starter. (For instance, At the end of the week, I will either make pretzels, or I will make a batch of pizza crusts. (Recipes coming soon).
Or, you can use a technique for longer term storage.
Below is the excellent video I found on this very topic.
I have only used the refrigeration technique personally. I feed my starter, and stick it in the fridge. I feed it once every week to 10 days. When I want to make bread again, I pull it out three days before, and start daily feedings, to give it time to wake up. This works well.
For the other techniques, please refer to the Video below.
[Return to Index]
Friday, February 15, 2019
Sourdough Care and Feeding
I don't recall what prompted me to give sourdough a go exactly. It was likely that I enjoy a good sourdough, but don't enjoy the ridiculous price tag.
I did a fair amount of googling, and came across several good posts on www.thekitchn.com.
This post specifically was my starting point: https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-your-own-sourdough-starter-cooking-lessons-from-the-kitchn-47337
There were several others as well, that I blended ideas from to produce my own strategy, but I don't recall the links (sorry). I have started, stopped and started about a half-dozen times. It has really been quite easy. I can't say I really get the carrying on some people do about "hundred-year-old starters" and such. It takes about a week to get one going. It really isn't that hard either. You really could just start one when you were planning to make a loaf (well, a week before you were planning to make a loaf...)
First the Tools:
Kitchen scale- I favor measuring by weight for this. A small kitchen scale works great.
Glass or plastic container with a loose fitting lid - I use a 1 quart, wide-mouth mason jar, and one of those plastic screw on lids. A two quart might be a little more convenient, but one quart if easy to come by. The lids are sold in a six-pack, I saw them first on Amazon, but then found them at the local grocery store.
And the ingredients:
Flour - I used store bought all-purpose white flour the first time. It worked fine. In later starts, I supplemented occasionally with whole wheat. My most recent is primarily home ground, whole-wheat (a mix of hard red and hard white). I occasionally supplement with white flour. I definitely prefer it. It has a more complex flavor, and adds a nice bit of texture. Some people like to get exotic and add some rye or or other flour... I might try that at some point. Right now. I have 50 lb bags of wheat. It is cheap, convenient, and easy.
Water - Tap water is fine. I prefer filtered, I don't know if it really matters, but since we are trying to grow things, I think chlorine is best avoided.
On to the process.
Day 1:
Measure equal parts by weight flour and water into the jar
mix thoroughly.
put on the lid
put it someplace room temperature, an low light. Doesn't need to be dark, just avoid direct sunlight.
The specific amount is not too critical. The way I do it is this:
I place the Jar on the scale with the lid removed and tare(zero) the scale.
I put in some tap water - somewhere between 20 and 40 grams (usually closer to 20).
I note the weight then zero the scale
I add flour until I reach the previous weight.
I then stir with a long handled metal teaspoon. I use a rubber (or silicone) spatula to scrape down the sides, and then loosely screw on the lid. Don't tighten it down, you want gasses to have the ability to get in and out.
Then just set it someplace quite and out of the way.
Day 2:
Repeat the above process.
really. That's it. Add equal amounts by weight flour and water, mix thoroughly, lid and set aside.
Day 3-...:
Continue repeating the process. Just keep feeding it equal amounts of flour and water every day.
Within a weeks time, it will start to get bubbly, and will smell a bit... vinegary and yeasty. (less yeasty and more vinegary with white flour). It is then ready for use in your various sourdough recipes.
From then on it is just maintenance. Feed it every day. Actually you can miss a day, maybe two between feedings. But it will start to look sad fairly quickly. Also, make sure it is fed the day before you intend to use it.
Keep in mind, after each feeding cycle it will expand and then contract, so don't let the jar get much more than half full.
[Return to Index]
I did a fair amount of googling, and came across several good posts on www.thekitchn.com.
This post specifically was my starting point: https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-your-own-sourdough-starter-cooking-lessons-from-the-kitchn-47337
There were several others as well, that I blended ideas from to produce my own strategy, but I don't recall the links (sorry). I have started, stopped and started about a half-dozen times. It has really been quite easy. I can't say I really get the carrying on some people do about "hundred-year-old starters" and such. It takes about a week to get one going. It really isn't that hard either. You really could just start one when you were planning to make a loaf (well, a week before you were planning to make a loaf...)
First the Tools:
Kitchen scale- I favor measuring by weight for this. A small kitchen scale works great.
Glass or plastic container with a loose fitting lid - I use a 1 quart, wide-mouth mason jar, and one of those plastic screw on lids. A two quart might be a little more convenient, but one quart if easy to come by. The lids are sold in a six-pack, I saw them first on Amazon, but then found them at the local grocery store.
And the ingredients:
Flour - I used store bought all-purpose white flour the first time. It worked fine. In later starts, I supplemented occasionally with whole wheat. My most recent is primarily home ground, whole-wheat (a mix of hard red and hard white). I occasionally supplement with white flour. I definitely prefer it. It has a more complex flavor, and adds a nice bit of texture. Some people like to get exotic and add some rye or or other flour... I might try that at some point. Right now. I have 50 lb bags of wheat. It is cheap, convenient, and easy.
Water - Tap water is fine. I prefer filtered, I don't know if it really matters, but since we are trying to grow things, I think chlorine is best avoided.
On to the process.
Day 1:
Measure equal parts by weight flour and water into the jar
mix thoroughly.
put on the lid
put it someplace room temperature, an low light. Doesn't need to be dark, just avoid direct sunlight.
The specific amount is not too critical. The way I do it is this:
I place the Jar on the scale with the lid removed and tare(zero) the scale.
I put in some tap water - somewhere between 20 and 40 grams (usually closer to 20).
I note the weight then zero the scale
I add flour until I reach the previous weight.
I then stir with a long handled metal teaspoon. I use a rubber (or silicone) spatula to scrape down the sides, and then loosely screw on the lid. Don't tighten it down, you want gasses to have the ability to get in and out.
Then just set it someplace quite and out of the way.
Day 2:
Repeat the above process.
really. That's it. Add equal amounts by weight flour and water, mix thoroughly, lid and set aside.
Day 3-...:
Continue repeating the process. Just keep feeding it equal amounts of flour and water every day.
Within a weeks time, it will start to get bubbly, and will smell a bit... vinegary and yeasty. (less yeasty and more vinegary with white flour). It is then ready for use in your various sourdough recipes.
From then on it is just maintenance. Feed it every day. Actually you can miss a day, maybe two between feedings. But it will start to look sad fairly quickly. Also, make sure it is fed the day before you intend to use it.
Keep in mind, after each feeding cycle it will expand and then contract, so don't let the jar get much more than half full.
[Return to Index]
Sourdough
I have had several people ask about my Sourdough recipe, so I thought I would put all my sourdough info here.
This post will be the landing page. I am thinking there will be six pages.
The First page will be on how to raise and care for your sourdough starter.
The Second page will be a few techniques for longer term storage of your starter.
The next page will be my artisan sourdough bread recipe. This is the one that everyone loves and wants the recipe for.
Since that recipe is a considerable investment of time, I will also post three other recipes, which you can use your starter for, rather than just discarding excess starter.
First will be a sourdough sandwich bread. It is considerably less time to make, and is excellent for making Ham and pepperoni sandwiches.
Second is a sourdough pizza crust. Takes a little bit of a time investment, but has the advantage that you can freeze it, store it, and use it whenever you need it.
Finally, I recently started making sourdough soft pretzels. Delicious! They don't last very long...
1. Sourdough Care and Feeding
2. Storing Sourdough
3. No Knead, Artisan Sourdough Bread
4. Easy Sourdough Sandwich Bread
5. Sourdough Pizza Crust
6. Sourdough Pretzels
This post will be the landing page. I am thinking there will be six pages.
The First page will be on how to raise and care for your sourdough starter.
The Second page will be a few techniques for longer term storage of your starter.
The next page will be my artisan sourdough bread recipe. This is the one that everyone loves and wants the recipe for.
Since that recipe is a considerable investment of time, I will also post three other recipes, which you can use your starter for, rather than just discarding excess starter.
First will be a sourdough sandwich bread. It is considerably less time to make, and is excellent for making Ham and pepperoni sandwiches.
Second is a sourdough pizza crust. Takes a little bit of a time investment, but has the advantage that you can freeze it, store it, and use it whenever you need it.
Finally, I recently started making sourdough soft pretzels. Delicious! They don't last very long...
1. Sourdough Care and Feeding
2. Storing Sourdough
3. No Knead, Artisan Sourdough Bread
4. Easy Sourdough Sandwich Bread
5. Sourdough Pizza Crust
6. Sourdough Pretzels
Monday, February 11, 2019
Health update one more layer peeled back
It has been a while since I have posted. There are a few reason for that, but the main one is health issues again. It is time to post an update though, as I have new information which might be helpful to others with mystery illnesses.
First a recap. I was having abdominal issues which led to a Chron's diagnosis just over 10 years ago. Five years later that diagnosis was removed, (miracle or misdiagnosis?), however I was still having abdominal issues (debilitating spasms).
After some research, I asked my Dr. about an anxiety connection (There is a family history of Depression, and anxiety is a close cousin). She put me on an SSRI (Note, virtually every medication for treating anxiety are SSRI or SNRI - The first S, and the RI standing for Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor. They try to increase the Serotonin in your system by preventing your body from absorbing it. These are generally considered very effective, but digging in to the most recent meta study declaring this, [note the study includes many statistics models, using methods I don't understand - I was never a fan of statistics. Never really felt like it was real math, interestingly, I had a conversation once with a friend who was a head of a Mathematics department at a university, and he, and some of his colleagues had been having a conversation leading them to the same conclusion]. What I did manage to pull out of the numbers is that the efficacy was generally around 52%, vs 48% for Placebo. This means that out of every hundred people suffering from Anxiety. Roughly 48 obtain relief from their symptoms with a sugar pill. Therefore, only four people actually derive benefit from the SSRI. This is considered safe and effective by the FDA and other comparable agencies elsewhere inthe world. This is not a statistic unique to this particular family of drugs, or this class of illness. There is also some studies coming from University of Utah which seem to suggest SSRI's are even less effective for individuals living at higher altitudes for some reason, and that SSRI's in general can cause a dependency, by causing the body to further reduce serotonin manufacture. Anecdotally, most individuals who use SS/NRI's whom I have talked to find they have to change to a different one every few years, which seems to support The UofU findings. Sorry for that lengthy digression, back to the tale...)
The abdominal problems went away within a few weeks of starting the SSRI.
From a mood perspective, I experienced what I later heard termed SSRI induced apathy. I was living in a mental fog, and just didn't care about anything. I went to work and sat and my desk all day, doing nothing. It is kind of a miracle that I am still employed.
At some point, I decided I needed to get a shed built in the back yard. I went to the lumber store, but had no idea what materials I needed. Rather than take the time to do a design and create a materials list, I just bought entire pallets of materials. I wound up with close to 100 sheets of non-returnable OSB siding for instance, when I needed 12 sheets. In 2 hours, I accumulated roughly $20k of consumer debt (technically still trying to recover from that).
So, I stopped the SSRI's, and started speaking with a Therapist.
Unfortunately, my insurance is not very effective in covering non-pharmaceutical health care, and I had to stop the sessions after a few months.
At his point, anxiety began to turn to depression. This was when I took a break from social media - and news media - as I concluded it was significantly contributing to the problem. Removing those slowed but did not reverse my downward course.
Antidepressants are largely SSRI's, so I was reluctant to go down that path again. So I suffered for some time (A year? two? Lost track).
Then, my youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD. He is the non H type, which are frequently missed. As I started researching ADHD, I noticed how well the symptoms fit me. So many of my experiences in school and college were such a fit for an ADHD diagnosis.
I recalled one incident in particular - A teacher yelling at me for wasting my time constructing a deck of playing cards. I had become fascinated by solitaire, but had no money to purchase a deck of cards, so I made my own out of squares of paper. I would play solitaire in my desk during class, because... class wasn't interesting. The teacher was furious that I was wasting my talent on such useless pursuits.
That incident was not atypical of my youth.
I took this new information to my Dr. and I was tested about a month ago, I have been on aderall for about three weeks now. It is not a miracle drug for me the way some people describe it. I am not suddenly a super-performer.
But it has absolutely stabilized my mood, improved my ability to focus. I missed my dose this Saturday, and Sunday morning, I found my self beginning to feel anxious, and unable to control my runaway thoughts. As I was sitting as church, my mind racing precariously out of control, with thoughts of anxiety and threatening to shift to depression. I experienced the moment the medication - which I had taken an hour earlier - kicked in.
It was really kind of fascinating. In - I would guess - ten or fifteen seconds, I literally felt the anxiety sort of drain out of me, felt myself regain control of my runaway brain. It was amazing!
I still have a few side effects to work through. It is causing some insomnia problems. The first day I took the target dose, I didn't sleep at all that night. I have been skipping the second dose since then, and have had a couple more sleepless nights. I am working with the doctor to try and get that sorted.
At any rate, after decades, it seems as thought I might finally be homing in on root-cause for my mysterious maladies. Abdominal, and other physical health issues, caused by anxiety/depression, caused by ADHD.
Don't just treat the current symptoms, look for their root cause. The mind is a tricky thing, with phenomenal power.
First a recap. I was having abdominal issues which led to a Chron's diagnosis just over 10 years ago. Five years later that diagnosis was removed, (miracle or misdiagnosis?), however I was still having abdominal issues (debilitating spasms).
After some research, I asked my Dr. about an anxiety connection (There is a family history of Depression, and anxiety is a close cousin). She put me on an SSRI (Note, virtually every medication for treating anxiety are SSRI or SNRI - The first S, and the RI standing for Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor. They try to increase the Serotonin in your system by preventing your body from absorbing it. These are generally considered very effective, but digging in to the most recent meta study declaring this, [note the study includes many statistics models, using methods I don't understand - I was never a fan of statistics. Never really felt like it was real math, interestingly, I had a conversation once with a friend who was a head of a Mathematics department at a university, and he, and some of his colleagues had been having a conversation leading them to the same conclusion]. What I did manage to pull out of the numbers is that the efficacy was generally around 52%, vs 48% for Placebo. This means that out of every hundred people suffering from Anxiety. Roughly 48 obtain relief from their symptoms with a sugar pill. Therefore, only four people actually derive benefit from the SSRI. This is considered safe and effective by the FDA and other comparable agencies elsewhere inthe world. This is not a statistic unique to this particular family of drugs, or this class of illness. There is also some studies coming from University of Utah which seem to suggest SSRI's are even less effective for individuals living at higher altitudes for some reason, and that SSRI's in general can cause a dependency, by causing the body to further reduce serotonin manufacture. Anecdotally, most individuals who use SS/NRI's whom I have talked to find they have to change to a different one every few years, which seems to support The UofU findings. Sorry for that lengthy digression, back to the tale...)
The abdominal problems went away within a few weeks of starting the SSRI.
From a mood perspective, I experienced what I later heard termed SSRI induced apathy. I was living in a mental fog, and just didn't care about anything. I went to work and sat and my desk all day, doing nothing. It is kind of a miracle that I am still employed.
At some point, I decided I needed to get a shed built in the back yard. I went to the lumber store, but had no idea what materials I needed. Rather than take the time to do a design and create a materials list, I just bought entire pallets of materials. I wound up with close to 100 sheets of non-returnable OSB siding for instance, when I needed 12 sheets. In 2 hours, I accumulated roughly $20k of consumer debt (technically still trying to recover from that).
So, I stopped the SSRI's, and started speaking with a Therapist.
Unfortunately, my insurance is not very effective in covering non-pharmaceutical health care, and I had to stop the sessions after a few months.
At his point, anxiety began to turn to depression. This was when I took a break from social media - and news media - as I concluded it was significantly contributing to the problem. Removing those slowed but did not reverse my downward course.
Antidepressants are largely SSRI's, so I was reluctant to go down that path again. So I suffered for some time (A year? two? Lost track).
Then, my youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD. He is the non H type, which are frequently missed. As I started researching ADHD, I noticed how well the symptoms fit me. So many of my experiences in school and college were such a fit for an ADHD diagnosis.
I recalled one incident in particular - A teacher yelling at me for wasting my time constructing a deck of playing cards. I had become fascinated by solitaire, but had no money to purchase a deck of cards, so I made my own out of squares of paper. I would play solitaire in my desk during class, because... class wasn't interesting. The teacher was furious that I was wasting my talent on such useless pursuits.
That incident was not atypical of my youth.
I took this new information to my Dr. and I was tested about a month ago, I have been on aderall for about three weeks now. It is not a miracle drug for me the way some people describe it. I am not suddenly a super-performer.
But it has absolutely stabilized my mood, improved my ability to focus. I missed my dose this Saturday, and Sunday morning, I found my self beginning to feel anxious, and unable to control my runaway thoughts. As I was sitting as church, my mind racing precariously out of control, with thoughts of anxiety and threatening to shift to depression. I experienced the moment the medication - which I had taken an hour earlier - kicked in.
It was really kind of fascinating. In - I would guess - ten or fifteen seconds, I literally felt the anxiety sort of drain out of me, felt myself regain control of my runaway brain. It was amazing!
I still have a few side effects to work through. It is causing some insomnia problems. The first day I took the target dose, I didn't sleep at all that night. I have been skipping the second dose since then, and have had a couple more sleepless nights. I am working with the doctor to try and get that sorted.
At any rate, after decades, it seems as thought I might finally be homing in on root-cause for my mysterious maladies. Abdominal, and other physical health issues, caused by anxiety/depression, caused by ADHD.
Don't just treat the current symptoms, look for their root cause. The mind is a tricky thing, with phenomenal power.
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