Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
The poem is Invictus, by William Earnst Henry.
It is also, to some extent an illusion.
Before reading further, I suggest to review my prior post on Truth etc... This post is meant to continue that thought exercise. I have a few more that go with it as well. I have been struggling to put them into words, and I have been struggling to work out the correct order. I think it matters....
We generally like to think we are in control of our choices, that we (generally) make them based on sound reasoning, careful thought, and through the lens of our moral principles.
There are a number of holes in that theory however.
The first is genetics. We come into being as a result of a mix of combined genetic material from our mother and father. That genetic material determines, or at least shapes many of our physical characteristics. Including how the operation of various hormone producing factories - which influence our mood, among other things.
It isn't quite that simple though. More recent research indicates sections of this genetic material can be effectively turned on or off. Some of our DNA is wrapped around histones, which effectively turns off those genes. These histones can be activated or deactivated chemically. There are also chemical groups which can be inserted into the DNA at specific points, which will turn sections of Genes on or off.
This suggests that environment - The foods we eat, the air we breathe, the chemicals we come in contact with - can, to some degree alter our genes. There have been some studies which indicate that these alterations can be passed on to our offspring. There are also several studies including this one, showing a potential link between lead exposure in violence.
But it isn't just environment, it is also experiences. There is at least one study which observed an increased mortality rate in the male offspring of Civil War POW's, born after their POW experience. In another study, rats were exposed to cherry blossom scent at the same time a mild electric shock was administered. This led to an automatic fear response to the scent. Their first and second generation offspring both exhibited the same automatic fear response. Genetic memory appears to be a thing.
So, many of your decisions and reactions in life may very well have been shaped, not just by your experiences, but also by your diet, the compounds and minerals in your drinking water, and the quality of the air you breathe. Further more it may have been shaped by the environment, diet, and experiences of your parents, and your grandparents and... Perhaps the biblical references to "The sins of the fathers." (Exodus 34:7, for instance) were meant as literal warnings.
But even setting aside these genetic-based influences, you are likely far less in control of you than you think.
In the previous post I mentioned the adage "You are the product of your five closest friends," Citing the specific anecdote I have witnessed, of people completely reversing their political position (liberal to conservative and vice versa), after a major move change their circle of friends. It is actually a bit more complicated than "The five closest" of course. The circle of influence is larger than that. It really is more about what you are surrounded by, and frequently, consistently exposed to.
"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:"
-Proverbs 23:7
Which is why companies spend so much money putting advertisements for their products in front you you. everywhere you go. And why normally rational people can become so irrationally attached to absurd ideas.
"If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes accepted as truth"
-Joseph Goebbels
And you lie to yourself all the time. (More on that later).
Of course some try to argue that deep down inside, their soul remains - at least mostly - in control.
Many instances of significant personality change after severe, traumatic brain injury would suggest otherwise. I have also seen and personally experienced the personality altering effects some medications can have. And of course there is also Dissociative Identity Disorder, and scripturally, the experience of possession.
Even passage of time and number of decisions you have made in that time affects you according to this article on parole hearings. If your soul is in control, it is arbitrary and cruel...
Some have gone so far as to say you aren't really in control at all. You are just running your piece of the program that was set in motion eons ago.
I'm not quite that fatalistic, I think that I do have at least some ability to influence who I become and what I do. maybe not so much as moving the rudder on the back of a boat, perhaps more like holding a stick in the water on one side...
So the question then is, how much of what we say and do is truly our intentional exercise of self-will, and how much is us just executing the universe's program?
I think we can be more in control, perhaps, when we are more present, and when we are less dishonest (again, more on that later).
